Expectations

First things first, I wanted to post some pictures from Friday. My two girls and I did spa/makeover treatments to each other. I was going to post them to Facebook but wanted to add more than a one-lined explanation about our activity. So here are the pictures.

My six-year-old painted my fingernails, my four-year-old brushed my hair and put the lovely head band in. All of us put our feet in the spa footbath and I painted all their finger and toe nails. Now for the explanation. I had been a real grump the day before. I was thinking too much, lost in my own world. My fuse was short so when one thing went wrong I would snap at them. Doing this spa was my way of making up for my shortcomings the day before. I wanted to share our photos with family and friends because I know they like to see the girls and what we do together. What I didn't want to do was portray an unreal picture of our summer days. It would be false to portray myself as the perfect Mom who spends her summer giving her girls spa treatments. I feel there is a danger when it comes to social media. We look at people's pictures and get a skewed view of their life. Whether it's that they have the worst life ever (from the constant complainers) or that they have it all together and are way better off than we are. I know this is true for myself and would guess it's true for you, as well. Today I want to talk about the unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves that can come when we browse the internet and social media. My goal is to remind all of you that no one is perfect (despite all those perfect family photos we see on Facebook) and that you ought to cut yourself some slack.

With each cell phone and iPad that enters our home anyone from "the outside world" is given a gateway into our homes and lives. Recently, I have been taking natural opportunities with my six-year-old to teach her about Internet safety and the need to protect herself online. (Age-appropriate lessons, I might add). I believe that as adults, we also have a need to protect ourselves online. We need to protect ourselves from holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations, comparing ourselves to others and giving into feelings such as jealousy and judging. 

1. Unrealistic Expectations: Who loves Pinterest? I do, I do! I love getting ideas for crafts, activities for the kids and dinner. (I also have a secret board filled with fitness inspirations, most of which I have NEVER done). A couple of summers ago I was totally obsessed with trying to do all the crafts and home decor ideas I had pinned. I put this ridiculous, unnecessary pressure on myself to do all the things I had pinned. I don't know why but thankfully I have let it go. Now, my enjoyment comes from appreciating pretty pictures, people's talent and beautiful homes that I will probably never have. And I'm ok with that. I'm working on letting go of things I thought I would have accomplished or acquired at this point in my life. I remember staying over night at my best friend's house, sharing our thoughts and desires for the future. Our wonderfully optimistic, sixteen-year-old selves had this timeline in mind: meet the man we will marry in high school (which we both actually did), marry him when we are twenty (didn't think about finishing University), start having children by twenty one, and finish having children by thirty. Things for both of us turned out differently than we had planned. I had my first child when I was twenty six and feel like that was absolutely the right thing for us. Looking back, I wouldn't have done anything different. I learned so much about myself and grew tremendously in my early twenties. I cherish the first three years of marriage we had before our children were born. I cherish the many nights and weekends we spent with my previously mentioned best friend and her husband. Those are memories and important moments in our life that are essential to who we are today. Instead of getting caught up in what I expected myself to be doing at this point in my life, I choose to be happy with my what my life holds right now. When I look to the past I am happy things didn't go as I had planned at sixteen and as I look to the future I have hope and reassurance that God has good things ahead.

2. Comparing Ourselves: Try not look at one snapped moment of people's lives and think they have it all. I guarantee you they don't. Whether we talk openly about it or not, everyone struggles with something. Things can often look a certain way from the outside but we don't know what really goes on. With that being said, it is also easy to get caught up in judging others based on the same premise of getting a quick glimpse into their life.

3. Jealousy and Judgement: I admit that I have done it with in the past few days. I was looking at a picture of someone who was on vacation, thinking they sure had "the life." I could feel that twinge of jealousy and wishing things were different for me. It's important to recognize this when it happens and remind ourselves of all the blessings and good things we have in our life. The same goes for judging people. We don't know what drives people to make certain choices. We don't know what has happened in their life that affects their decisions about big or little things. It is important to catch ourselves when these types of negative thoughts arise and remember that we don't have the big picture.

The Internet isn't the problem, however, it is just another device that can lead us into traps that we already face. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Internet. I have toyed with the idea of quitting Facebook many times and have never done it. It is a great way to network and stay in touch. Now that I have started a business with my Mom and sisters it is a great way to promote ourselves and advertise our services. Here comes my shameless plug, our business is Country Lane Vintage Rentals. Here are some links if you'd like to see what we do.
http://www.countrylanevintagerentals.com/
https://www.facebook.com/CLVintageRentals?ref_type=bookmark
See, I embrace it. :) But in all seriousness. We have to protect our minds and hearts. These negative thoughts can creep up anytime, anywhere. Be aware of it and stop them before they bring you down. Instead of dwelling on the things about yourself or your life that you wish were different, open your eyes to the things right in front of you that can bring you joy in that moment. Once you take a good look, there are always more good things in your life than you realize.