You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good and for Your glory
These are lyrics to a song we sang in church this morning. My prayer during the most difficult time in my life was that God would use my suffering for His good and my good. Those of you who have known me more than three years know that my most difficult time has been my struggle with alopecia. During that time, in the middle of all the questions and uncertainty I had an "Ah hah" moment in my car. I remember hearing the Gospel message over the radio and realizing that God used this circumstance to bring me closer to Him. Instead of asking Him, "How much longer must I endure this?" my heart turned to gratitude. I realized that I would rather go through all the pain and loneliness at that time and come out of it closer to Him than not to have gone through it at all.
This year I have been able to use my experience for God's glory. In the Spring I was able to share my experience with a friend whose daughter has alopecia. Again, I felt gratitude to God for allowing me to have my experience with alopecia. I remember thinking, even if the only reason I experienced my struggles earlier was to be able to come alongside a friend and her daughter, then it was worth it. Then God could use my story for His good and His glory.
Recently, I have also been able to reconnect with an old girlfriend who will be going for cancer treatment and faces the possibility of losing her hair. I remember thinking so many times, "If I feel like this over my hair loss alone, how hard it must be to face the thought of losing your hair and having the weight of cancer on your mind." I just hope that I can offer people in similar situations hope and the reassurance they are not alone. I relied on the hope of God's faithfulness. He was my strength when I felt so weak and helpless to my situation. He heard my cries of anguish and gave me the strength I needed to get through my day.
We can rely on God's strength when we have nothing left in us. He had the power to raise Jesus from the dead and we have access to that power! Honestly, it blows my mind. Paul wrote this prayer to the Ephesians and this is my prayer to anyone of you who are suffering, lost and weak right now. "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ Jesus when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms."
We are doing a sermon series on Ephesians at church and it cannot hit closer to home for me. I was reminded of all these things this morning and I just want to share it with everyone. God is powerful and offers us a limitless source of strength. He wants to be close to us and will turn difficult situations into good. I just want to give him the glory and fame for the work He has done and is doing in my life. I am still struggling with alopecia. It seems to come and go in cycles. I often catch myself looking in the mirror and get annoyed at the bald patch I see or the short hairs I can't tame. I try to use those instances as reminders. I am quick to take control of my life and try to do everything on my own. That also seems to come in cycles. I am trying to be intentional that, when I look in the mirror and get discouraged, instead of grumbling I use it as a reminder to rely on God.
I pray that instead of feeling overwhelmed by our difficult situations, we will feel overwhelmed by the wide, long, high and deep love of Christ.
(Here is a picture of a vast ocean. I can't get the image out of my head of filling the bucket of my soul into God's vast ocean to be engulfed by Him).
