God's Limitless Power

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good and for Your glory

These are lyrics to a song we sang in church this morning. My prayer during the most difficult time in my life was that God would use my suffering for His good and my good. Those of you who have known me more than three years know that my most difficult time has been my struggle with alopecia. During that time, in the middle of all the questions and uncertainty I had an "Ah hah" moment in my car. I remember hearing the Gospel message over the radio and realizing that God used this circumstance to bring me closer to Him. Instead of asking Him, "How much longer must I endure this?" my heart turned to gratitude. I realized that I would rather go through all the pain and loneliness at that time and come out of it closer to Him than not to have gone through it at all.

This year I have been able to use my experience for God's glory. In the Spring I was able to share my experience with a friend whose daughter has alopecia. Again, I felt gratitude to God for allowing me to have my experience with alopecia. I remember thinking, even if the only reason I experienced my struggles earlier was to be able to come alongside a friend and her daughter, then it was worth it. Then God could use my story for His good and His glory.

Recently, I have also been able to reconnect with an old girlfriend who will be going for cancer treatment and faces the possibility of losing her hair. I remember thinking so many times, "If I feel like this over my hair loss alone, how hard it must be to face the thought of losing your hair and having the weight of cancer on your mind." I just hope that I can offer people in similar situations hope and the reassurance they are not alone. I relied on the hope of God's faithfulness. He was my strength when I felt so weak and helpless to my situation. He heard my cries of anguish and gave me the strength I needed to get through my day.

We can rely on God's strength when we have nothing left in us. He had the power to raise Jesus from the dead and we have access to that power! Honestly, it blows my mind. Paul wrote this prayer to the Ephesians and this is my prayer to anyone of you who are suffering, lost and weak right now. "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ Jesus when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms."

We are doing a sermon series on Ephesians at church and it cannot hit closer to home for me. I was reminded of all these things this morning and I just want to share it with everyone. God is powerful and offers us a limitless source of strength. He wants to be close to us and will turn difficult situations into good. I just want to give him the glory and fame for the work He has done and is doing in my life. I am still struggling with alopecia. It seems to come and go in cycles. I often catch myself looking in the mirror and get annoyed at the bald patch I see or the short hairs I can't tame. I try to use those instances as reminders. I am quick to take control of my life and try to do everything on my own. That also seems to come in cycles. I am trying to be intentional that, when I look in the mirror and get discouraged, instead of grumbling I use it as a reminder to rely on God.

I pray that instead of feeling overwhelmed by our difficult situations, we will feel overwhelmed by the wide, long, high and deep love of Christ.

(Here is a picture of a vast ocean. I can't get the image out of my head of filling the bucket of my soul into God's vast ocean to be engulfed by Him).

Season of Spring

I don't know about you, but I'm sure happy it is Spring! It's so nice to have warmer weather, birds chirping and green start to appear around us. If this was all that made up Spring weather it would, hands down, be my favourite season. It's not though. Just yesterday morning, before the 30 degree weather I experienced in the afternoon, there was rain. There are times in Spring when it is dark, gloomy, wet, cold and before the buds arrive, brown and dirty. Both are part of Spring and both are necessary.

It struck me yesterday that this one season is a good analogy for the seasons we can experience in our life. We can experience a dark, cold, dirty, and gloomy time of struggling through something. We can also experience a bright, hopeful and lush time of life filled with joy. I would also like to add an "in-between" time as well. (If based on the season Spring in Canada maybe even a fourth - lowest of the low - represented by snowfall in April). Just kidding. Kind of. :)

Yesterday on the radio I heard Joyce Meyers' clip "Everyday Minutes." She said that it is in our times of struggle that we often do our most spiritual growing. I couldn't agree more. As hard as it is to struggle, be unsure of our future, feel as though life is dark and cold, we can learn and grow in that time. It is in those times we realize that we are not alone, God is with us, He loves us and we need Him.

I would suggest that after our time of struggle and feeling an intense closeness to God we enter an in-between time. The lessons we learned are still close at heart. The discipline of coming before God and laying everything down have become habit. We can start to gain some insight into the situation because the hurt, pain and intensity of our struggle has lessened.

And then there's the joy filled, hopeful, bright season of life. Even as I'm writing this I'm thinking, "Does this really exist in our lifetime?" I think it does here on earth. But I know for sure it will be in heaven. I believe our life is an intermingling of these seasons with the ultimate goal being a closeness to God and a change in our hearts and minds to become more like Jesus.

I'm beginning to see each season in my life as preparation for the next. As a pre-teen I remember thinking about Jesus' death and resurrection and being almost fearful. I didn't want all that he had done to go to waste. I wanted to make sure I fully embraced the gift he had given me so that what he did wouldn't be for nothing. I had similar thoughts during my low season when I had alopecia. I just opened my heart and prayed that God change me and teach me. I didn't want to go through it all for nothing. I also remember one Sunday morning, worshiping and being in God's presence thinking, "Going through this will make the good times that much better."

Where do you think you are in your journey? I feel like I'm in an in-between stage right now. I know God is preparing myself and my family for good things ahead. We will need to remain in prayer and dependence on Him. It will still be a time of learning for us and I'm really excited to see what God has in store.

It's easy to let the comings and going of life pass. Believe me, I understand working, cleaning, cooking, laundry, mothering, "wifing," teaching and the list goes on. I would like to encourage you to take ten minutes, lock yourself in a room alone, go for a walk alone, sit outside alone. (Notice the word ALONE). Just take some time to reflect on where you're at, what God is teaching you and what he might be preparing you for. Write it down so you remember. In a month come back and read it. When you open your eyes to the work God is doing in your life it will refresh, renew and encourage you.

What We Do Not See

It's been awhile since I've written on here. Today I will be writing about waiting. Thanks for WAITING so long since my last post. Hahaha.

Last Sunday we had the privilege to go to an event at our church called Journey to the Cross. The pastor took us through the seven days leading up to Jesus' resurrection. It was good to be reminded of everything but this in between day was what resonated with me. Yesterday, Friday, Jesus was crucified and buried. Today, Saturday, the people who were close to him in Jerusalem were left waiting. They had no idea what to expect. Jesus told them what he had to do; he used imagery to describe that he would die, be raised from the dead and go on to be with His Father in heaven. I don't think they really got it though. If I was there I don't think I would have either. When tragic events occur, it is hard for us to see past our immediate emotions. I am so glad I live on this side of the resurrection and know that tomorrow I can celebrate the fact that Jesus didn't stay dead in that tomb. Imagine how Jesus' disciples, friends and followers must have felt, though. The things they knew for sure were what they witnessed. They saw Jesus suffer and die on the cross. They saw him be taken into a tomb in the side of a cave. They saw a large boulder be rolled in front of the entrance. Perhaps some of Jesus other-worldly words regarding his resurrection resonated in their minds but how could that compare to the evidence right in front of them? So often we get caught up in the earthly facts we see around us and we forget that God is at work in a way we can't see. When we are in those periods of waiting we ought to ask God to give us more faith - after all "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

Now, I am guilty of not practicing what I preach. I woke up one morning this week feeling completely overwhelmed and uncertain of my future. I feel like these last two years have been a period of waiting for myself and my husband. At the beginning of it, I prayed that God would use this time to teach us what is important in life and what we should seek. I've had my ups and downs through it all, but I feel like we're ready to take small steps to proceed. One step we are taking is buying a house - which has proven in the past to be an extremely stressful event! The morning I woke up this week I couldn't handle the unknown. I was too caught up in my negative feelings to allow the promises of God to change my spirit. He even put these lyrics from a song in our school's musical in my head:

By faith we can believe God’s promise 

By faith we can believe it’s true 

Faith is a never-failing, rock-solid 

Forever and always truth 

That all God said, He will do 

And that all He promised is true 

Yes, all He promised is true

God promises to never leave us or forsake us. This is what we need to cling to in our times of fear, uncertainty and doubt. It doesn't matter where we live, how much money is in our bank account, what type of clothes we wear, how many friends we have or what type of job we have. What matters is whether we have a living relationship with God through Jesus. His presence will keep us focused ON His other worldly plan for our lives and OFF the earthly situations that weigh us down.