" Why me?" are words we often say to ourselves when we are faced with a difficult situation. The situation is often perceived by us as unfair and we feel as though the repercussions are out of our control. I am thankful that I haven't faced too many of these moments. I consider myself blessed and I thank God for this.

Just a few days ago my uncle passed away. With in my recent memory, he is only the second close relative to me that has passed away. As I've been processing my grief, the feelings and emotions I had when my grandfather passed away are coming back to the surface. When he passed away nearly ten years ago, I had several "Why me?" moments. You see, he passed away the day before my husband and I got married. He was diagnosed with cancer and after a few treatments, had to stop because his body couldn't handle it anymore. We didn't know how long he had to live and really just had to keep going with all our plans. That's the thing about life, death, and disease - they are out of our control. We are left feeling weak, vulnerable and emotional. When we are faced with a different outcome than we had hoped we are somehow comforted by uttering the words "Why me?" and giving ourselves a moment of self-pity.

I clearly remember praying a few months before the wedding, asking God to either take my grandfather now or let him live long enough to come to the wedding. In my limited understanding of the situation I thought these two options were the best and most ideal for me and my family. I believe, with all my heart, that God knew better. Going back to my theme verse in Psalm 139 David wrote about God saying, "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in, behind and before." God knows us so intimately, he knows the words we will say before we even say them. He knows our hearts and minds and cares enough about us to know when we sit and stand up. He also loves us, hears the cries of our hearts and will do what's best for us even if we desire something else.

Ten years after a major "Why me?" moment in my life I can give God the glory and praise for his timing. There are valuable qualities I learned about God and about living in a community of believers. Here are some of them:

God is faithful. When we are feeling at our lowest God hears our cries for grace and love. When we feel powerless He gives us the strength to get up, face the challenge of the day and get through it. Through the Holy Spirit, God grants us the same power He used to raise Jesus from the dead; there is nothing too big for Him!

Prayer is powerful. You might be thinking, wait a minute, you just wrote that you asked God for one thing and he didn't do what you asked. Here's my answer. It's important to bring our requests to God, humbly sharing our concerns and desires with Him but we still need to acknowledge God's divinity and sovereignty. Even Jesus ended prayer his payer in Gethsemane by saying, "Not my will, but yours." I know that the prayers of all our family and friends are what got us through those difficult moments of grief and question of why.

Community is God's desire for us. I grew up in a small church, one that all my immediate and extended family attended. The church put on a community wedding shower for me and I was thrilled to see ladies who taught me Sunday school, people who invested in my growth and faith throughout my childhood years. I really felt as though I was leaving this life to start a new one with my new husband. I also knew all those people who attended the shower and many more from the church were praying for our family during our time of mourning. I remember writing Thank You cards after the wedding and having a sense of love and support from everyone around us.

My family is now faced with another death and another wedding. My cousin, who just lost his father, is getting married this Saturday. As tempting as it is to share words of advice with him, his fiance and my aunt and to tell them it's probably for the best, I know from experience that's not what they need. All they really need to hear is I'm praying for you and I love you. It's ok to mourn and it's ok to be happy when your wedding day comes. God's grace is sufficient and will carry you through this.